Do you ever meet someone and think, “I wish I was more like them”?

Do you ever meet someone and think, “I’m so glad I’m not like them”?

It’s amazing how self-absorbed we are, always wondering how we stack up against everyone else. We seem to attach this question to every person and situation:

What does this mean about me?

If my boss praises a coworker but doesn’t praise me, what does that mean about me?

If my mom compliments my brother over something he did well, but doesn’t compliment me – what does that mean about me?

If I hear you tell Will how much his sermon impacted you but I don’t hear those same words from you, what does it mean about me?

There are some things that are okay to compare:

-It’s okay to compare the schools you’re considering sending your child to

-you should compare the three candidates you’re thinking about hiring for a position at your company

-And there’s nothing wrong with comparing prices at Whole Foods to the prices at Trader Joe’s

But when you encounter other human beings throughout your day and your default is to assess how you stack up against them, you are in a comparison crisis. It means you’re always either winning or losing – which leaves you feeling superior or inferior. And if it was just about that, it would be bad enough. But it does way more than that.

Comparison robs you of the contentment God wants to give you.

Even if you win the comparison game, you still lose.

What is it that makes us play the comparison game so frequently in our lives? When C.S. Lewis wrote an entire chapter on today’s topic in his classic Mere Christianity, he simply titled the chapter “The Great Sin.” He also said that this sin leads to every other vice we have. I’m calling this message, “Pride Equals More and Less”.

Luke 18:9-14 To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else, Jesus told this parable: “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people – robbers, evildoers, adulterers – or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’ “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’ “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

Why did Jesus tell this parable? Let’s first ask why Jesus told any parable. He used stories to help us know what God is like and what life in His kingdom is like. And here, Luke tells us why Jesus told this parable. This parable is for a specific audience – those who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else.

Philippians 3:8-9 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ – the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith.

Paul had been a Pharisee who was confident in his own righteousness and looked down on others. When he meets Jesus and experiences the surpassing worth of who Christ is, he considers everything else a loss – including his own self-righteousness. He no longer wants to be found in what he’s accomplished or how great he is; he does not want a righteousness of his own. He longs to be found in Christ.

In this story Jesus told, the Pharisee related to God on the basis of where he stood compared to others. The tax collector related to God on the basis of where he stood compared to God. Here’s a question to think about: Would you rather justify yourself or have God justify you? I don’t know about you, but it exhausts me when I’m in a mode of always trying to justify myself.

What are your really depending on for your standing with God?

1 Peter 5:5-6 In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.

Pride causes God to fight against you. Humility causes God to fight for you. If you exalt yourself, God will humble you. If you humble yourself, God will exalt you. So we want to come under God’s mighty hand rather than try to be the mighty hand over God.

What does genuine humility look like? For starters, it doesn’t look like humiliation.

humiliate – to reduce someone to a lower position in one’s own eyes or others’ eyes

The Pharisee felt superior to the tax collector. He humiliated the tax collector. We do this to others anytime we feel superior to them. But we can also do this to ourselves. I think John the Baptist gives us one of the very best examples of what true humility looks like. In John 3, Jesus comes onto the scene. John has been the one baptizing most of the crowds. And as people tend to do, they start making comparisons. I want you to see what went down and how John responded to it.

John 3:26-30 They came to John and said to him, “Rabbi, that man who was with you on the other side of the Jordan – the one you testified about – look, he is baptizing, and everyone is going to him.” To this John replied, “A person can receive only what is given them from heaven. You yourselves can testify that I said, ‘I am not the Messiah but am sent ahead of him.’ The bride belongs to the bridegroom. The friend who attends the bridegroom waits and listens for him, and is full of joy when he hears the bridegroom’s voice. That joy is mine, and it is now complete. He must become greater; I must become less.”

When you orient your entire life around Jesus, He becomes greater…but He never makes you feel “less than”.

John knew he wasn’t the Messiah and he did not want to be. But he wanted to play his part and give his life to amplifying the glory of the true Messiah, Jesus Christ. I love this line – “A person can receive only what is given them from heaven.” Humility is present when we realize all we have been given is a gift from God.

This doesn’t mean that we can’t own what we have done well. It just means we don’t want to make it all about us. They came to John and tried to make it all about him. He refused to do that; but he did not refuse to play the part God has assigned to him.

If I say that I’ve had everything to do with Epic’s success over the past 13 years, is that the truth? NO!!! If I say I’ve had nothing to do with Epic’s success over the past 13 years, is that the truth? NO!!! But if you come interview me about the past 13 years and I give you truthful answers – you will walk away amazed at all that God has done that we could have never done all by ourselves.

You’ve probably heard me talk about 2 gauges I pay attention to in my life: my level of humility and my level of confidence. The goal Jesus has for us isn’t to have a ton of humility but no confidence. Notice how Luke introduces us to the parable. Jesus told this for those who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everyone else. When God justifies us through faith in what Jesus has done – we can be confident in our standing before Him.

If you believe you have earned your standing with God, you’ll never taste grace for yourself and you’ll never give it to someone else.

Practices for Less Pride, More Humility

• Humility and Confidence Declarations

• Genuine Gratitude

• The Practice of Silence

• Taking the Low position and Serving Others

Humility and Confidence Declarations (without Christ…with Christ…)

Genuine Gratitude

A daily practice of expressed gratitude removes our inclination towards entitlement.

The Practice of Silence

“Silence is one of the deepest Disciplines of the Spirit simply because it puts the stopper on all self-justification…One of the fruits of silence is the freedom to let God be our justifier.” Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline

Taking the Low position and Serving Others

When you know where you stand before God, you can take the low position before others.

John 13:3-5 Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.

“As long as you are proud you cannot know God. A proud man is always looking down on things and people: and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you.” C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity‍