A HAPPY TRADE-OFF

The fall equinox lands on September 22nd, and by this time in the year, we have fully embraced the season with apple cider and pumpkin spice landing front and center on our grocery shelves. Americans go BIG on autumn decor and food! Going BIG can happen in our dedication to an activity or community, especially with our kids, but selecting your thing inherently is a trade-off. I still remember how the coordinator of our kids’ swim team in 2010 would sign her emails:

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No one can do everything.

Everyone can do something.

I choose to do this.

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Does your family GO BIG on any one activity or community? Now it’s totally possible to belong to more than one community or participate in more than one activity. But it’s next to impossible to invest deeply in all of them.

From 2013-2022 (nine years!) our family led an extracurricular program called Odyssey of the Mind in our school community. It was a GOOD experience, and truly helped our daughters and our community develop skills in teamwork, public speaking, creativity, leadership, and problem solving. We were deeply invested and it was time well spent, even if it caused us to often say no to many other opportunities.

But last year we determined that while it was GOOD, its season was past, and to do it again would have interfered with other God-given assignments which are GREAT for our family’s spiritual growth. We’ve been able to explore new ways of investing in our Epic family through Awaken and Epic Kids worship & ministry, as well as focus on the support of family–especially our daughters in college and our aging parents–usually having margin.

‍Parents, have you developed a rhythm that is sustainable for the duration of the autumn season? Or are you still struggling to keep up with fall youth sports season schedules, increasing homework help sessions, or school play rehearsals while carving out family time? You aren’t alone. The strain is real. It’s increasingly easier to default into unintentional family rhythms when there are so many GOOD things to experience as the leaves turn colors and the weather reminds us that the year is nearing its final stretch.

‍However, don’t let the GOOD get in your way of doing what’s GREAT for your family.

Of course in family life there are trade-offs. We cannot become involved in every opportunity we are offered. In his book Essentialism, Greg McKeown says, “Trade-offs are not something to be ignored or decried. They are something to be embraced and made deliberately, strategically, and thoughtfully.”

‍In perhaps the shortest of all of Jesus’ parables, He tells us that receiving the kingdom of God is the happiest trade-off ever:  “The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field. Matthew 13:44 NIV

‍When we prize God’s kingdom over everything else, we find JOY in Christ and in life! He provides what we need–even the discernment to make thoughtful trade-offs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. Matthew 6:33 NLT

Parents, sometimes the activities you pick for your kids will be short-lived and sometimes they will be perennial favorites. If it’s time to remove an activity from your repertoire, celebrate the wins from what you’ve experienced and then move onto the next assignment God has given you. Most importantly, seek God first, and He will show you what will be GREAT for your family.

As I look back at pictures of Septembers past in SF, I’m reminded of the choices we made as parents – into whom and what we’ve invested our time. I can’t say we always made wise choices, but there’s one thing we regularly did – fall into God’s loving arms, pray for each of our kids and ask for discernment to determine which choice to GO BIG on.

Prayer led into discussion between my husband and I. Sometimes those talks became animated as we determined how we were to allot our time and resources, and we didn’t always agree. However, with prayer and our family mission statement to guide us, we determined how we would respond and what main opportunity we were going to select.

Atul and I have been called to serve God by partnering with families in San Francisco as they orient their lives around Jesus. It’s a blessing that we’ve found some like-minded people at Epic Church who also have made this happy trade-off and we can be filled with JOY as we seek God’s kingdom each day in community.

Grace and peace,

Annikki

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September Epic Kids Elementary Unit Verse: